Ineffable Ontological Detanglement .: Introspective Assistance & Mental Analysis Manual
Life is such a giggling absurdity that it hurts, it makes you want to cry. Every little thing, you can find the absurdity of rock formations and cloud formations, you can find the absurdity of a bag of chips. You know nobody can handle the true nature of themselves, nobody, nobody could ever possibly handle what they truly undeniably are. We can all tell you're hurting, something is driving you into a demented repressed rage. You develop philosophies about how sometimes you just need to laugh at life, it's okay, it's okay to laugh at life everybody takes life so serious but you can laugh at life it's fine. We-we don't... We don't care, the rest of us people on the other side of the wall, there's a life and sometimes it's funny we don't require block think labelling the entire concept of life as something we are to laugh at. Have a tissue.
Everything is all mushed together and that's ABSURD, no it's NOT, no it's NOT reality everything is NOT all mushed together and all associations within the mush are supposed to automatically make sense to everybody.
It seems, trapped behind the badonk wall, you are incredibly depersonalized and derealized, you can't quite grasp at reality, it goes beyond an inability to grasp whether or not something is in fact a farcical representation of itself. Your very visual perception is altered, every little object enters into your mind through the wall of stupid badonk, you're badonking everybody's face, you're badonking the trees, you're badonking the lamp. Something in childhood drove into you the hard "It's absurd." Something very serious hurt you so bad, something out of this world you never thought would be possible, you fancied yourself a pretty funny person and so you semi-consciously decided to enter into the life of scary movie disorder.