Ineffable Ontological Detanglement .: Introspective Assistance & Mental Analysis Manual
Something impossible happened, it can only really happen in childhood. Something happened outside of the world you understand, even though you understand the world entirely, and you do, because this is something unforseeable, it alters the world in front of you, the world you understand, in a way you cannot understand, it's impossible.
There goes reality, you enter maximum depersonalization and derealization, you lose love entirely, you lose over half of your emotions, you turn into a force of pure calculating evil, you're basically on ketamine 24/7. You're pretty much the impossible concept of pure evil, obviously not entirely, but, this is pretty much as close as you'll get. It torments you, it drives you into a crying rage, however you can maintain, for awhile, you're just a vessel of the other side.
Alison disorder, this is Alison disorder, she can fill in more details.